Native American Blogger

* Take any help you can get. Stay involved with some ongoing context for learning and working on communication. We all can receive invaluable support from courses we have taken. There are groups of people willing to contribute to other people everywhere there are people. That is one fine thing about which we current humans should all be very happy. Some groups are better at supporting people than others, but the world is full of people who wish to contribute to other people. * Grow or die. If you don't keep growing you go dead. * Have a long conversation (some time when you are not arguing) about when you first got together and how your relationship has evolved over time. Talk about times of jealousy, times of not much of anything, times of not much sex, times of sex that's not much, times you have worked well together. Talk about how your marriage has been a cauldron. Talk about when you have made the cauldron into a flower pot. Summary We are back to the beginning ...

* Create together some common cause you are both interested in and committed to accomplishing. This opens up the possibility of working together, in communication with each other, in agreement about what you are both dedicated to accomplishing. You feel helped by each other, grateful to each other, willing to acknowledge each other, and capable of bringing about results in the world together. Actually creating something together is a lot of fun. Babies are fun to create, although they are a hell of a lot of work for a long time. Creating is a lot more fun than bitching and whining. * Stay involved with other people committed to telling the truth and to something bigger than their own comfort. An honest relationship with other couples supports your couple. Couples need another couple or two for friends. If intimacy doesn't extend to friends and extended family, the network of support is too thin. If you have even one good friend to both people, to whom both can talk and who suppo...

Desperation is a terrible basis for union. If the couple I just talked about had gotten married when they got scared they were about to lose each other, and stayed married on that basis, it would have been a desperate union. That kind of marriage sucks. Loving the holy human prototype is more important than loving the personality. The holy human prototype is the person you see when you look into someone else's eyes without prejudgment. The holy human prototype is like a child. It is the noticer. It is the being, just like you, just across from you. It is the being who, you can tell by just looking, like looking in a mirror, has the same kind of electric circuitry as yourself. You can love that being of the other as much as you love yourself. When that being is a child, you can love him/her more than yourself. Beings do a better job of loving each other than minds. Things That Help Couples Have A Powerful Relationship * Complete any incomplete relationships with your paren...