This week I had an interesting email from someone who is in the throes of change and searching for his true family and at the same time searching for himself! I have decided to share it with you to serve two purposes. One being that upon revelation of this man’s name possibly someone can help him in his search for his family.
The second more important reason is that there are many of you out there in the same or similar situations which need resolution. So to that end please read my response to this man and take whatever you care to and apply it to yourselves as you see fit.
Honest Abe: to wit
I feel I have come full circle tonight by finding what was before me all the time.
I have longed for the Indian way to return to me as mother earth has been so good to me.
In my search for my past that the government took from me at a very early age and I think my folks allowed it to happen for my protection, I learned of this a few short years ago, that the family as I knew it was just make believe.
All this when I became drawn to the Indian way or as I like to call it more attuned with nature as my belief had always been that animals in there purity could teach so much more then man.
Upon settling into my new life grandmother built a teepee from brush and young timber and we sat and sang for hours it seemed her husband my step grandfather of whom I loved so much because everything seemed so easy with him and his pet name for me was Honest Abe. Well when I came to studying the Indian way I learned that lady was my mother and the man my dad’s dad or grandfather and he was clearly Indian to me. From that day forward I guess I longed for a teepee for my final home it just had all the earmarks of living in tune with nature and mother earth as we were to be. Anyway this all started my finding about my past around 1999 with help of my youngest daughter who I feel is a very old spirit. I have tried so hard to find my family since and learned that my birth certificate is sealed would take a lawyer to ask permission to see not have. Well this turned out to be no easy task as I am on fixed income and just can’t afford it so I set about with what I knew and started looking only to find that all that I thought were kin including sisters turned against me and have nothing to do with me since the death of the parents I knew as parents mother 1988 father 1989!
That all said I wanted only my Indian name back if I truly had that past which I have no reason to doubt for the few who have seen my spirit guide who has appeared to a few that saw him with me and said he was a very large Indian brave of the old dress. One of those good friends is supposed to be a direct descendant of Geronimo please forgive my spelling a very hard point for me. Thru many, many name changes on both my mother and my grandfather have hardly anything on my dad. I came upon this name tonight as one for my grandfather a possible so I entered his father’s name to see what came up which was “pah do pony” grandfathers name was always Mack to me and as I understand a brother named Oliver and was from that general area.
I spent some of my growing years in Kiowa county, drums and the pow wow music is second nature and so natural for me. Saying all this I know in my heart there is no other way then the Indian way and that if anyone can get my name back it would be this way and my Indian name is all that matters to me the other I understand would probably bring me a very large inheritance but not what would put my soul at ease except to be able to spend on my brother and sisters of mother earth. The name I knew my grandfather as was Mack Lindsey Holman born in Indian territory abt 1896 so if there is anything that you can help me spend my latter days with my real people it would be appreciated at least likeminded people , as I was so I shall be Honest Abe !
Sorry I took so long to get to this! Busy Week!
I have read what you have to say and it seems a very difficult task at best to come up with ancestors for you!
If you truly wish to follow the Relative Way however you will understand the simplicity of what I am about to explain.
To be of the Earth one needs to be free of the Earth in all that one perceives and understands of it.
In other words you must be willing to let go of your ancestors if you wish to get them back.
In the Native culture we are all individual beings belonging to no one but The All That Is!
Hope you understand this because it is all important in changing the way you are to the way you want to be.
Once you understand this and practice this you will know that what you once were you can never again become.
Once you understand this and practice this you will know that what your name was before has nothing to do with who you are today accept to know that the name served the energy to get you to the place you are now arriving at.
Once you understand this and practice this you will know that going forward requires a name that will serve to propel you forward, not keep you tethered to the past.
It is now necessary for you to seek a new name!
How you do this is up to you, but I recommend asking your Spirit People to choose one for you then wait till it comes in whatever form They choose for it to come in.
In the Native world your name is all important to your progression up the Ladder of Ascension! If it begins to not serve you so well, as they all do at some point or other then it is necessary to again ask for a new name.
In this way we go forward, not stay in the present or the past mired in our own muck so to speak.
Hope this gives you something to work on and if you have any questions please reply to this email address.
Two Feathers - Kainaiwa - Blackfoot Nation