An Exploration of Unconditional Love cont....

The man had a predictable built-in reaction to this, which was "Oh shit! Here we go again. Why can't I ever have a relationship work out? Just when I was thinking about us moving in together, she wants to back away. This is how it always goes. I am never quite good enough. I am good, but not good enough." As you see, the condition by this time had become two minds relating to each other as "Its", coming out of the same mouths that used to be used by their beings for love. They are both right about each other when they say "you changed" because, of course, both have changed. In just six weeks, they have changed from beings out of their mind with love into minded beings.

Half of these wonderful beginnings split up. If they are "like-minded" beings, they stay together in boredom the rest of their lives. If they escape their minds' beliefs about each other repeatedly, they have a successful relationship.

I talked to this particular man alone,…

An Exploration of Unconditional Love cont...

Next, after a few of these arguments, the two parties alternate between feeling insecure and feeling angry. When one gets angry, the other gets scared he or she is about to be abandoned. This alternating process occurs a few times. Then, a discussion like the following one occurs.

The fellow is his age makes no difference, has been divorced more than a few times, and is in a relationship with seeker who is being coached on having relationships based on telling the truth. His last lover had walked out on him; he still "loved" her, of course, since she had rejected him.

"I really love you", he said. "These month's since we met have been just great. I have never told anyone so much, or had such an honest relationship. I thought, in the beginning, there would be all kinds of bells and whistles. But there aren't any bells or whistles or rockets going off. I have dreaded this conversation for a some time now. I think I am more involved with you than you are …

An Exploration of Unconditional Love cont....

Intimacy is not the same thing as romance.

Being "in Love" at the beginning of a relationship is wonderful. I think it is the result of us getting in touch with being, through another person. When you fall in love and get in that blissful state, you just love being, your being, and the being of the beloved, and the being of all beings in the world. You are "home" in that rediscovered sense of unity and bliss. As Kris Kristofferson sings:

She wasn't quite as pretty as
some others I have known,
and she wasn't good at
conversation when we were
but she had a way of makin' me
believe that I belonged.
And it felt like comin' home
when I loved her.

'Cause she brightened up my day
like the early mornin' sun
and she made what I was doin'
seem worth while.
Its the closest thing to livin' that
I guess I've ever known,
and it left me feelin' warm, when I loved her.

Kris Kristofferson, "When I Loved Her" 1968, BMG Music…